| Jan 21, 2013
I knew I’d someday be sitting across from my 4-year-old daughter, kissing her forehead and wishing that she’d stay young forever.
As I sat among a group of parents at our neighborhood school’s kindergarten information night, I realized that day had come.
My stomach was in knots. Why am I so nervous?
She’s ready to go to school. She knows her ABC’s. She can count to 30 and beyond. She can write her first name. She knows her address. She knows her mother’s and father’s names. She can dress her self and is a self-starter in social settings.
We’ve prepared for this day. So why are my knees buckling as I fill out her school registration form?
Everyone tells me she’ll be fine when she enters school in the fall. She’s independent. She’ll forget all about missing you.
But it’s not her that I worry about as much as it’s me.
What if I’m not alright? What if I can’t stop missing her?
Is it wrong of me to say that I’m not ready to let my piggy-tailed little girl go.
It’s the real world out there.
I won’t be able to kiss boo-boos, tie tennis shoes or cut her sandwiches into shapes. At least not during school hours, I won’t.
I won’t be able to hold her hand and leave wet kisses on her cheeks as she walks into the classroom because — let’s face it — “it’s not cool.”
Someone else will be responsible for the love of my life every day, and letting go will tug at my heart… just a little bit.
I guess it’s that thing we all do as moms. You know, worry about everything.
Realizing she’s growing up is so hard.
Letting go is even harder.
After leaving the information night, Alejandra held my hand.
“It’s OK, mommy,” she said. “I’ll have lots of friends to play with, and when school is over we can play too.”
Josie Loza is a mommy blogger and the editor of Momaha.com, a site operated by the Omaha World-Herald. Momaha is an online community for moms to share ideas through blogging. Loza is a mother of two girls and a boy, and she brings her experience and quirky family adventures to the site.